Rape culture is fucked

I do not understand why rape culture is how it is. Why do we defend the rapist and blame the victims. Why do we say how wonderful they were in there past trying to protect WHAT they are now. That being said why do we point out the bad a victim did ever as if that’s what justifies them being raped. Not just women are victims of sexual abuse. But how often do men come forward. Would you? Women who are raped are disregarded saying they provoked it… Men who are raped? They secretly wanted it or what!!? “They wouldn’t have gotten hard”. What a god damn joke. I hate that people automatically assume you did something wrong, or didn’t do enough to stop it. I hate that as the victim you have to constantly defend yourself but your rapist only once or twice has to defend themselves before their life moves on. I now have PTSD to live with the rest of mine. My new love in my life knows what happened to me and is worried to scare me, or “trigger” me. Meanwhile he tells his new lovers and those women just accept it. Why? How can this possibly be the world we live in. I know there are many issues in this world. I just don’t understand how this is still such a big one amongst the rest.